Last week a good friend of mine from high school passed away. I hadn't seen him much over the last 10 years, but thankfully I saw him just about 2 months ago at a football game. He greeted me with the biggest grin and most giant bear hug; just like he always had in the past. We talked about the famous "Wednesday Lunches" my mom used to make in high school and agreed we'd have one in December. With the holidays and all sorts of things going on in my personal and work life, I just never got around to planning it. Man I regret that.
JT was a special guy. Larger than life; probably one of the most talented people I've ever known. His funeral service was quite amazing. The program featured his artwork and poems he'd written throughout life. The sanctuary was filled with hundreds of family, friends, teachers, co-workers, and anyone else JT had ever met. His closest friends and family members got up and spoke. Stories were told of him fishing/noodling, playing pranks, dancing, going on adventures, making scenes in public to embarrass his friends, even doing dares. I've never laughed so hard at a funeral, but I know that's exactly the way he would have wanted it.
His death has had me thinking quite a bit over the last few days. A lot about my relationships, how I live my life, what I want out of life, what I can do to live my life as full at JT lived his.
I feel like over the last 2 years I've really grown my relationship with my family. I cherish them a lot more as I've gotten older and since the recent passing of a good friend's mother, I've learned to have a lot more patience with my parents. To go home every now and then just to hug them.
In those same 2 years my relationships with my friends have changed a lot. Most have gotten married, had kids, and just become busy with their lives. They are starting the rest of their lives as I'm still searching for mine. It's definitely been a process for me to learn that our friendships won't ever be the way they used to. We're still great friends and I know I can call them for anything, we just don't get to make those every day/every weekend out on the town sitting in the living room memories as often as we used to. I'm still struggling with this transition. I pray for peace about it often and try to remember not seeing each other all of the time doesn't make our friendships weaker.
We have a morning meeting at work every day. It always ends with what we call an "energizer". Usually its some game or a random question that we each have to answer. Of course the first day back after the holidays was the cliche "What's your New Years Resolution" question. I quickly answered that mine was to work less and have more fun in my life.
So I plan to stick to my resolution. Not work 10 hours every day and instead leave work on time and enjoy life. Have drinks with old friends, go see movies, try new restaurants, even give a try at the dating world again.
I'm one of those that wants to do EVERYTHING. I don't want to miss a party, I don't want to miss a once in a life time event, I don't want to miss a night out with the girls.
So here's to 2012. I'm going to step out of my box. Live my life fuller than I could imagine.
You just never know when your last night is going to be.
This is the last picture I can find of JT and I. It was at our Senior Prom in 2002, I'm making a funny face...more than likely because he said/did something hysterical. Thanks for being a part of my life JT! You will be missed greatly!
This is the poem that was on the back of the program at his service. I never knew he could write, but man he was good!
"So the tables have turned." said the devil to me.
But for he need not worry, right back, I would be
Like the time right before, and the time before that;
I have fallen again, for his rabbit and hat.
He lowered his brow, while he gritted his teeth.
Temptation birthed tremors, by the one from beneath.
They shook me, til I could be shaken no more
He just stood there and chuckled, while I lay on the floor.
I couldn't escape, I was in way too deep.
The mountain I climbed grew increasingly steep.
The tumbling stopped, when the ground disappeared.
I was falling for nothing, while he stood there, and cheered.
The silence awoke me from nightmarish despair.
The wind I smelled brought something new in the air.
The warmth had restored me, so I opened my eyes
By surprise, Satan's lies soon became my demise.
You expect me to fool you, cause i've been here before.
But this sponge of a world will absorb me NO MORE!
All the lies, and the hurt, the disgust and deceit,
Became stains on the grass, in the ground by my feet.
Lord make me the man that you saw in your plan,
For without you there's no man who possibly can.
Your word alone is my weapon of choice
Still, stands the devil, at the sound of your voice.
Prepare me O lord, for he will come harder this time,
Lord remind me, the filth he has left, is benign.
For I have the strength of the lord by my side,
Into any battle with you lord, I will ride.
When the dust from the battle re-blankets the ground
Awaiting the next time that its cloud will be found.
I will be ready Lord, I will stand up and fight?
Then I'll fight, and I'll fight, and I'll fight, and I'll fight!
Surround me with those who believe in your name,
And surround me with those who do not, just the same.
May your light from above, let me shine from within.
As I recruit for the team who will certainly win.
You've gathered my pieces left scattered about.
You've cleansed me of worry, of sin, and of doubt.
Confused me with your endless mercy and love.
Only you I will worship, father in heaven above.
On my knees, at your feet, I surrender my all,
So tall, Lord I know now, you will not let me fall.
Through the rain and the pain, you stood firm just the same,
Let me feel that conviction, so that heaven I'll gain.
You created me Father, and you know my heart
The same heart that beat while we drifted apart.
You've healed me again Lord, so that now I can grow.
You should know, this time lord, I will not let you go.
By JT Turner
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