Well I did it.
It was a date. My first first date in 6 years.
Let me start from the beginning...
G {that's what we're going to call him} text me Saturday asking me to catch a movie Sunday night.
{My eyes filled with tears when he did, not out of excitment, but out of "holly crap is this really happening?" The thoughts of it not being {him} made me so sad.}
Sunday G calls to suggest "Hot Tub Time Machine" as the movie choice and dinner at Pei Wei.
I started to freak out a little the night before. The thought of him trying to hold my hand, trying to kiss me, made me eyes just fill with tears.
I felt as though by going out with G, I was cheating on {him} (couldn't help the feelings)
I wasn't nervous or really excited about the date, the anxiousness came from First Date Etiquettes. Do I offer to pay for my dinner and/or movie? What do we talk about? Is he supposed to come to my door to pick me up? How's the night going to end? I don't want to kiss him, what if he tries?
By the time he came to pick me up I was in a "I don't really care mood". The conversation was fine, but not even half way into dinner I knew there was NO connection with this guy. He was very nice, but boring.
We sat down in the movie and he's a movie talker.....he kept talking through all of the previews until I think I finally shot him a "would you shut up" look.
Within the first 30 seconds there were pictures flashed of nake girls in hot tubs. "awesome I thought, this is going to be all about sex....AWKWARD!"
and I was right, it wasn't ALL about sex, but there were moments. Combine that with vulgar language, raunchy conversations, and just a flat out stupid story line and you've got yourself one awkward first date movie.
I definitely gave the "friend vibe" during the movie....I made sure my hand was in no way accessible by his!
About half way into the movie I looked over at G and realized I wasn't sitting next to {him}. My eyes filled up with tears once again as I blinked a million times in order for G not to see. {he didn't}
He immediately apologized for the movie afterwards...at least he realized how awkward it was. But at least the movie had a decent ending.
The conversation back to my house was a little more awkward...
We pulled in to a parking space and he turned off his car to walk me to the door. I immediately put my key in the door and left my hand on the knob just to reassure him, that NOTHING was going to happen.
We exhanged polite words and said good night with a hug.
The date definitely made me realize I wasn't ready to date anyone.....
{he} is still in my heart...
I politely informed G of my feelings yesterday....he responded with a "ok-no prob"
Guess that's taken care of....
I feel SO much better!
1 comment:
Oh girl, I am sitting here in my freaking living room feeling so awkward and anxious... I'M even glad it's over! But you know, you got the first first date out of the way and at least he was a decent enough dude to apologize for the movie. I think the night was a big, awkward success! :) I know you've probably heard it, but it will get easier and one day might actually become FUN! I'm happy for you though, for getting through that milestone! Go E!!
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